i'm sick and tired.
in every sense of the work.
i'm stopping work for now.

maybe then its time to mend some relationships that i have so carelessly left drifting.
maybe its time that i find my faith all over again and know what i truly believe in.

because i know its not him.
and most definitely not her.

maybe i've misplaced my faith and my trust.
which is why i ended up in this mess.

i dont want to attention.
i just want to be alone to sort things out.


i dont want to be close to you because i dont want to be hurt by you.


they say you can always find light at the end of the tunnel.
but i can't seem to find my way around.
and honestly?
i'm severely lost.
it would be nice with a little help or two.

and to think i called you my friend when you left me falling.


i know i can do this.
even though i have huge doubts about it.
maybe thouse doubts can fuel me to make myself a better person.
step one; stop smoking.
i think i'm getting there soon.
believe me.


i know that my feet are taking me to paradise.


let go of whats holding me down.
i know i can do this.
even though its at the crossroads now.
i know my faith will lead me to something better.


i don't want to stand for it anymore.
i'm not going to be friendly or nice.
i'm not even going to try either.
because i've tried too long and too hard.
you just pissed me off.
and lord knows what happens when i do.


why i left you.
was because mo matter how much i try.
i can't seem to get to you.
or understand you.
i don't get to know who you are.
and it makes me difficult to let you know who i am.